Heh. "Interprets the constitution like a Unitarian interprets the bible ..."

The BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2005

#3. George W. Bush

Charges: Simply put, the stupidest man ever to lead this country. Bushâ..s lobotomized Will Rogers routine is a satiristâ..s dream, a European intellectualâ..s caricature of the dipshit cowboy American, all balls and no brains. Often responds to questions by attempting to define the word he finds the most challenging in them. Thinks press reports of his various crimes are responsible for his waning popularity, rather than the deeds themselves. Interprets the constitution like a Unitarian interprets the bible; for maximum convenience and with no regard to the actual text. Foreign policy vision is less serious and more simplistic than an issue of Captain America.

Exhibit A: "I want to thank the President and the CEO of Constellation Energy, Mayo Shattuck. Thatâ..s a pretty cool first name, isnâ..t it? Mayo. Pass the Mayo."

Sentence: Trapped for eternity under shoddily manufactured Diebold voting machine, unable to reach nearby refrigerator full of hot dogs and bourbon.


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