You could transform yourself into a giant penis for 200 fakebucks, but one could argue that you do that anyway by spending time in Second Life. I quit the game at this point, because my wife was sitting on the couch, and we were about ten minutes deep into a conversation about how we did not enjoy our Second Life. She installed it at about the same time I did, except she got bored and quit before leaving Initiation Island.

"You missed the pet penis," I told her. "For sixty-eight cents, you could have had a pet penis that followed you around."

"How do people play that all day?" she asked me. "And how do you hit people?"

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