X-tian Net Authority

Oh my fucking god. Hey, I think I just got on their list. It's a bunch of X-tian clowns who think they own the Internet. Catch their #5 on the acceptable use policy. This has to be a hoax.

Net Authority

The Net Authority is an organization consisting of individuals and community leaders from all over the civilized world. We are all constantly on the look-out for new offenders to add to our databaseâ..but we can't do it alone! You too can be a part of the Net Authority and help us eliminate offensive material from the Internet. By reading and understanding the Internet Acceptable Use Policy, and our guide on how to spot offending material, you can arm yourself with all you need to do God's work on the Internet. Every offending site that is added to our database by visitors just like yourself takes us one step closer to a cleaner, better Internet for our children.

Internet Acceptable Use Policy

Posting information or content in any form on the Internet constitutes acceptance of and agreement to the Net Authority Internet Acceptable Use Policy.


  1. Thou shalt not post pornographic material.
    There is a common misconception that pornography is limited purely to images or textual descriptions of an explicit sexual nature. This is not the case. Anything that can evoke impure thoughts in the mind of the beholder is pornographic.

  2. Thou shalt not post hateful material.
    Any material that promotes or inspires hatred or violence towards any other person or group of people is strictly forbidden.

  3. Thou shalt not post blasphemous material.
    Any material that would lead one astray from the righteous path of the one true God must not be permitted on the Internet. These days children are gaining access to the Internet at younger and younger agesâ..a time when they are most vulnerable and susceptible to blasphemous viewpoints and suggestions.

  4. Thou shalt not post materials of an offensive political nature.
  5. Thou shalt not post materials concerning bestiality, including interracial relationships. [emphasis added]
    God did not intend for different species or races to intermingle sexually. Any content that contradicts this natural law, directly or indirectly, is strictly forbidden.


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