Downbeat story about a religion reporter who lost his faith.

Religion beat became a test of faith - Los Angeles Times

He started off with the best of intentions.

As a serious Christian, I had cringed at some of the coverage in the mainstream media. Faith frequently was treated like a circus, even a freak show.

I wanted to report objectively and respectfully about how belief shapes people's lives. Along the way, I believed, my own faith would grow deeper and sturdier.

It all went downhill from there. Years of reporting on televangelists, interviewing ex-Mormons, and researching incidents of child abuse in the Catholic church wore away at his belief.

For some time, I had tried to push away doubts and reconcile an all-powerful and infinitely loving God with what I saw, but I was losing ground. I wondered if my born-again experience at the mountain retreat was more about fatigue, spiritual longing and emotional vulnerability than being touched by Jesus.

And I considered another possibility: Maybe God didn't exist.


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