Recent Entries in Food

A California drug operation manufactured marijuana-laced candy and soft drinks that were packaged to resemble popular products like Jolly Ranchers, Milky Way, and Pop Tarts. The pot ring, busted yesterday by Drug Enforcement Administration agents, was headquartered in Oakland and allegedly headed by Kenneth Affolter, 39, who was one of 12 alleged dealers nabbed. DEA raids at indoor pot-growing facilities turned up the marijuana-infused products, which carried labels such as Toka-Cola, Pot Tarts, Puff-A-Mint Pattie, Stoney Ranchers, Munchy Way, and Buddahfinger. A DEA spokesperson told TSG that the pot was baked into chocolate bars and hard candies and that the soda contained concentrated hash oil.

Drug Ring Sold Pot-Laced Candy, Soda - March 17, 2006

  Big-Ass Burger

A vegetarian's nightmare.


the Giant Burger

The assembled burger weighed 29.75 pounds, with a pound of bacon, two pounds of cheese, grilled onions and portabella mushrooms, avocados, tomatoes, lettuce, mustard, ketchup, and a giant toothpick through the center with deli pickles on top. The buns were baked on a pizza pan with a custom-fitted steel ring around the edge. Grilling occurred on a specially built turnover fixture with a brazed steel lid made from leftover material from the big round fish tank.

... and without having to clean up the wall behind the unlucky person's head.


Roulette Chocolate

Seated in individual compartments, twelve chocolate bullets lay waiting to be bitten into. Although eleven of the sweet little slugs contain delicious praline centres, one conceals a seriously red hot chilli that's guaranteed to blow your head off - metaphorically, at least.

The great thing about encasing something so palate-peelingly hot in chocolate is that it takes a few seconds for the 'victim' to register that he or she has just bitten into the wrong bullet. So relief and delight are rapidly replaced by abject horror, an expression reminiscent of Kenneth Williams getting into a hot bath, a volley of garbled expletives and a manic sprint to the nearest tap!

  Perfect Pork Martini

Three words that I've never seen together before...


Josh Karpf: In Search of the Perfect Pork Martini

The pork Martini serves many needs on many levels! In these pomo days, when old formulas are reborn with futile twists for our fickle, fin-de-siècle tastes, the meat cocktail stands out above wobbly, cranberry-tainted attempts at bar trendiness. When one abandons the olive garnish for that of a pork-rind wedge, the pork Martini merges the flavors of the working class with that of wealthier ones, bridging social strata. It has the humanitarian goal of bettering the nutrition of alcoholics, offering protein for those who prefer their lunches liquid: since meat digests longer, it will both inebriate and offer nutrients for longer periods! It will open new markets to pork consumption, adding American jobs to every level of the meat-industrial complex. And, finally, it looks really weird.

  Jell-O shooter experiment

So the secret rule for Jello shooters is 4oz boiling water to 1 pack of Jello, and then 19oz of booze instead of cold water. Write this down, dammit.


The purpose of this experiment was to determine the highest possible concentration of alcohol attainable in a Jell-O shot, while still maintaining the structural integrity (i.e., the gelling properties) of the gelatin. For the purposes of our study, structural integrity was defined as the ability of the gelatin to hold its shape when removed from its container. Recipes for Jell-O shots are often accompanied by the explanation that only a certain amount of liquor can be added to Jell-O shots, the reason being that a minimum amount of water is necessary to enable the gelatin to gel, and too much alcohol will prevent this. How much water is enough? Or more to the point, how much alcohol is too much? As you will see, too much is much, much more than we would have guessed.

The Ultimate Jell-O Shot - Gelatin Viagra

Not content with pelting European embassies with Molotov cocktails to protest against cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad, Iranians have decided to rename the â..Danish pastriesâ. relished by this nation of cake lovers.

From now on, the sweet, flaky pastries which dominate the shelves in Iranâ..s cake shops will be known as â..Roses of the Prophet Muhammad,â. the official IRNA news agency reported as pressure on Denmark over the cartoons took on a new dimension.

â..No one is allowed to make fun of our beloved and respected prophet,â. Hassan Nasserzadeh, a cake shop owner in central Tehran, told Reuters.

Iran renames pastries after prophet - Peculiar Postings -

  Cooking avec lava

Hawaii Hotels - Dolphin Bay Hotel, Hilo, Hawaii - Big Island Hotels


Step 1: Preparation

1 Game Hen or Pork Loin
8 Ti or Banana Leaves
1 Shovel and Gloves
1 2000 degree F fresh Lava

Spice the Game Hen to individual taste and wrap it in leaves, one leaf at a time.

Step 2: Prepare Oven
With a shovel you don't plan on using again... gather a good amount of 2000 degree F Lava. Try to find Lava from a recent breakout, where the Lava is fairly fluid.

Egg nog is a classic, rich beverage served at Christmastime. There are many variations out there that range from alcohol-free to practically hard liquor with some creamy flavoring, but most egg nogs have one thing in common: raw eggs. Even if you closely examine the eggs for cracks and wash them before cracking them open, consuming raw eggs presents a slight health risk - a risk magnified if you or your guests have weakened immune systems or are pregnant. Here's a recipe that cooks the eggs first to help reduce the risk even further.

Cooking For Engineers - Recipe File: Cooked Egg Nog

Some good sound advice from an uppity waiter:

DO NOT SMELL THE CORK! - When I see someone do this I know Iâ..m dealing with a complete amateur. Guess what youâ gonna smell? Cork! You want to feel the cork to make sure itâ..s intact. Is the bottom of the cork moistened with wine? Good. That means it was stored properly. Make sure the name on the cork matches the name on the bottle. Sometimes unscrupulous bastards put cheap wine in old wine bottles and re-cork them! Is there mold on the cork? Thatâ..s a bad sign. But smelling the cork, in the vast majority of cases, tells you nothing. - HOW TO ORDER WINE WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE AN ASSHOLE

  The Sriracha Inquest

Well, don't ask me how this happened, but I ended up eating pumpkin pie with Sriracha on it. I think it was because R dared me to (we were eating Chinese food, you see, and there was some leftover pumpkin pie for dessert). I probably figured it would be an interesting taste sensation at the time, and the dare was just the straw-that-did-the-thing-that-the-straw-does-in-these-metaphors. I like to think what I did was for the betterment of science. In truth, I was doing something for the sake of doing it.

This was the stuff. You all know what it is. You can all imagine the taste that I was in for:


Looks good, though, you've got to admit. Just like those pies you get at a coffee shop:


Here's proof of me eating the pie. God, I look like Bat Boy in this pic:


And the result? Not to bad. A little too salty for this pie, but if it had been a sweet chili sauce, it might have fared better. I ended up eating the whole piece, and considering another, but R put a stop to that.


  Founder of veganism dies

DONALD WATSON survived to the age of 95; good propaganda in his campaign to convince the world that there is nothing inherently lethal about a vegan diet. He always regarded himself as a propagandist, in the termâ..s non-pejorative sense. When interviewed at 92 he was pleased to report that he had lived thus far without resort to medication â..either orthodox or fringeâ., and with hardly a dayâ..s illness.

His parents were meat-eaters who did not enjoy particularly good health or long lives. His father, a headmaster who had worked his way up from being a farm boy, impressed on his son the importance of never swearing, which was helpful, Watson said, when spreading the word: â..It annoys some people, and propagandists should not annoy anyone except with the truth of their message.â.

While staying at the farm run by his much-loved Uncle George, Watson was shocked to see his uncle direct the slaughter of a pig. Its screams remained with him ever after. â..I decided that farms â.. and uncles â.. had to be reassessed: the idyllic scene was nothing more than death row, where every creatureâ..s days were numbered.â. He became a vegetarian, but continued to worry about dairy and other animal products and the way in which their industries were linked to the slaughterhouses.

Donald Watson - Comment - Times Online

  The Triple Tofu Tower

For those who want to eat like a carnivore.

Goodie Bag TV: The Triple Tofu Tower

Was visiting my mom and dad yesterday. My brother was in town, flashing pictures of his baby (which I apparently do not have permission to publish on the Internet), and so it was a chance for the family to get together for a cozy meal. At Mongolian Grill. OK, the 'Grill' was a bit of a last minute thing, and it was my parents' first time there, so the learning curve was a little high, but we all enjoyed it. Nothing really worth blogging about.

What was worth blogging about was the discovery of an X-tian fish on my mom's car when I pulled into the driveway. I'm beginning to think she's rebelling against my (lack of) faith.




My dad told me not to stir anything up, citing that she found religion later in life, and now wants to get in on some of the stuff she may have missed when she was younger. I pointed out that the idea of the Darwin fish was to dilute the meaning of the X-tian fish, which it has done admirably. Dad said that maybe her fish was an attempt to dilute my fish, specifically. I begged to differ.

All the same, I remembered how my father did a more than adequate job of sheltering us from religion when we were growing up, so I was indebted to him. No mention of the fish came out, except these cewl pictures.

  Space food of the future

The pioneers who make the 80-million-mile, three-year journey to Mars and back will probably not have the just-add-water-and-heat packaged foods that are aboard the international space station, where the crew orbiting Earth will prepare a Thanksgiving dinner Thursday of turkey, mashed potatoes, corn, green beans and cherry-blueberry cobbler.

During the six- to eight-month trip to Mars, space travelers will grow lettuce, spinach, carrots, tomatoes, green onions, radishes, bell peppers, strawberries, herbs and cabbage aboard their spacecraft.

And when they arrive at the Red Planet for a stay of about a year and a half, they will cultivate potatoes, soybeans, wheat, rice, peanuts and beans in soil-less hydroponic chambers, according to NASA's food scientists. - Space food of the future - Nov 23, 2005

  Tango and the Butcher

Eating dinner at the Tango Coffee Bistro in Stratford. I'm in town because of a long-delayed dentist appointment. He gave me a good going-over tonight, after 3 scheduling changes. R keeps jazzing me about going to the dentist alone, because up until today, I've gone to the dentist with K (my Ex). Hey, we both have the same dentist, and he's way the hell out in Stratford. Figured we'd save on gas by continuing to go at the same time, even though we're no longer a couple. It's no big deal. Anyway, R jokes that it's because I'm afraid of my dentist, and can't go alone. Heh. What nonsense... I mean, I may have referred to him as "the Butcher" in the past, but it's not that bad.

The Tango Bistro looks like it's trying too hard to be kitschy. There's wacky designs all over the place, and instructional dancing footprints going up the wall and onto the ceiling. By contrast, most Starbucks coffee houses seem like mortuaries. Also, they don't know how to make a panini sandwich here. I don't know who told them to put raw carrot slices (thick ones too) into a panini sandwich, but I think I hurt my teeth -- just after coming from "the Butcher". The panini came with a bowl of creamy potato soup. It's salty and delicious, but there's no texture to it ... it's a little too creamy. I was expecting big (or even little) chunks of potato in it. It came with a nice couple of bread pieces. They're too small to call "slices", and are little more than crusts, really, but they're also tasty. I'm drinking a Creemore Springs. It seems to go with the meal. Some kind of upbeat "new country" tune is playing. I was thinking it was more like what you'd call bluegrass, but it's bordering on the kind of jazzy fluff you'd hear introducing a cooking show on the Food Network. It's really bugging me.

I was hoping to get in to Balzac's for a coffee, and may yet. There's nothing there for eating, save sweet desserts. I might get something to go with a nice strong Balzac's espresso cup -- best coffee ever. Really.

  Alien Recipes!!!


Before discussing catching aliens, it must be made quite clear that humane restraint must always be exercised.

There is no need to make the creature suffer unnecessarily, therefore such techniques as snares, rattraps, poisonings etc are extremely discouraged.

Bear in mind that the alien may become agitated and strike out. Don't let the creature bite you, or point a "death ray" at you. If you find yourself in this kind of situation, look at it this way: "It's either you, or it", so take whatever steps are necessary.

How to Cook an Alien

I don't have a problem with vegans, although I tend to view veganism as more cultish than anything else. Certainly it's possible for an adult to remain reasonably healthy on a strictly vegan diet, but it's difficult (and, for me, it would be quite unsatisfying). Other than for strictly religious or moral reasons, I could never understand why vegans will not eat dairy products, which will more easily supply certain needed proteins and fats, or even eggs, which, because they are unfertilized, are not the same as killing animals for food. However, live and let live, I usually say. The only people harmed or helped by vegan diets are those who follow them. Given that, such diets are usually personal choices and none of my business.

Respectful Insolence (a.k.a. "Orac Knows"): "Alternative" nutrition takes the life of a baby

Doesn't it look mouthwatering? Cooking a Neptunian slug, doesn't require good heavy cast iron cookware or a genetically enhanced slug. Just a sense of humour.

Thai people love seafood and spices and this dish is typical of a spicy Thai seafood dish. Its a whole Squid or calamari and they're widely available in Thailand and always very fresh, usually it's fried or barbequed, but this dish is a different way of cooking it. The squid is stuffed with seasoned pork meat and steamed to cook it gently then served in a spicy soup.

Appon's Thai Food Recipes: Spicy Neptunian Slug Fricassee ( Pamuek Yut Sai Mu Nueng Manow )

Although widely consumed in Mediterranean cultures, artichokes are often avoided elsewhere in the world. Nevertheless, artichokes are simple to cook, fun to eat, and provide many important nutrients (several different minerals, vitamin C, and dietary fiber). An excellent way to prepare artichokes is to steam them, but in this article, I'll also discuss one of my favorite appetizers: grilled artichokes.

An artichoke is the bud of a thistle plant with seemingly inedible thorny "leaves" (properly called bracts) protecting a mass of tough (and often sharp) florets. Artichokes (more properly known as Globe artichokes or French artichokes) have no relation to Jerusalem artichokes or Chinese artichokes (both of which are tubers consumed as root vegetables).

Cooking For Engineers - Recipe File: Grilled Artichokes

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Recent Entries

  • The DIY Big Mac

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D H McKee's bookshelf: to-read

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