Recent Entries in Humour

  Art for Geeks

Good satire of America's ridiculous motto.

Straight Dope Message Board - Fifty years later, does America need a stupider motto?

With Jefferson's nefarious plan finally revealed, the government was faced with the challenge of selecting a stupider, less tolerant motto to more accurately embody the national character. A list was compiled of various candidates such as "no loitering," "if you're so smart why ain't you rich?" and "whites only." However, at last "In God we trust," a judiciously recycled version of the Confederate States of America's motto "God will vindicate," was chosen for its historical resonance, potential for divisiveness, and general inappropriateness. Legislators also remarked favorably on its weirdly bass-ackwards phrasing, "which calls to mind the speech of a comical Chinaman, or of some type of puppet from a science fiction serial of some kind." The motto proved its worth immediately, as its blandly pious presence on American currency spurred an unparalleled economic boom, resulting in an age of renewed prosperity that lasted until the Carter years.

  Curse you Mohammed Bear!

I've named both my cats Mohammed. And my car. And my new laptop. And my pirate costume.

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Cectic - Forever Ruined

A seriously ballsy attempt to infiltrate the Creation Museum. Hilarious, and uncomfortable humour ensues.

The BEAST: America's Best Fiend

â..You said the dinosaurs wouldnâ..t eat Adam and Eveâ.¦â.

â..Right,â. slipped in [Ken] Ham.

â..Whyyyyy?â. I pleaded. â..Why not? Why not?â.

â..In the garden,â. Ham said, looking over me into the filtering crowd, â..you know, the Bible tells us in the garden before sin, in fact in the world before sin, all animals were vegetarian and so was Adam and Eve, and even though they have sharp teethâ.¦â.

â..Why they have sharp teeth?â. I interjected in my slow droning falsetto.

A cameraman, most likely from a local news outlet, rushed to Buntingâ..s left to film the inspiring exchange.

â..Right. Thereâ..s a lot of animals that have sharp teeth, uh, that only eat plants,â. Ham ruminated, â..for instance most, most bears are primarily vegetarian, yet they have teeth like a lion or a tigerâ.¦â.

  How to Procrastinate

Thought I might pick this book up at some point. It's from the "Self-Hurt" series.

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Books : Procrastinate - Knock Knock

Are you punctual, productive, and conscientious? Now thereâ..s help. Because work expands to fit the time available, itâ..s never been easier to do the minimum amount of work in the maximum amount of time. Whether youâ..re naturally organized, cursed with achievement, or simply obsessive-compulsive, weâ..ll show you how to stop performing and start procrastinating today. Or tomorrow.

  Arbuckle

Comic based on the premise that Jon couldn't hear what Garfield was saying. So neither can we. It makes him seem very sad and lonely.

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Arbuckle: Garfield through Jon's eyes.

A funny photoset of fake brands in other countries. Reminds me of the time I almost bought Gillelle razors.

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Fake brands around the world

Blog showing pictures of celebrities who look like old lesbians, and aren't.

men who look like old lesbians

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Bruce Cockburn. Canadian singer-songwriter with Middle School giggle producing last name (pronounced, however, "Co-burn").

  Language is a Virus

A parody of the Creationism/ID debate. Click on the image for a better picture.

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I'm so going to hell for posting this -- and so are the staff of The Onion. This is so horrible -- and so funny.

Mosly just horrible.


Missing Girl Probably Raped

This guy sounds a litle like the Leader.

Nine Traffic Circles of Hell - MSN Autos

Eighth Circle You're a committed Greenie, a tireless apostle against global warming, evil corporations and any SUV. You flaunt your hippie-vegan lifestyle and fastidious demands for organic food. Your mode of transport? A decrepit, Woodstock-era VW bus that spews more pollution than a dealership full of Hummers. Drop one circle if the ashtray betrays one final hypocrisy: a pack-a-day Marlboro habit.

  The Unicorn Museum

I want to believe ... in unicorns.

Unicorn Museum - Unicorns, Evolution, Science, Dinosaurs, Family, Christian Worldview - Unicorn Museum

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Based on the idea of 'if it's in the Bible, it must be true', The Unicorn Museum promotes belief in the Biblical Truth of unicorns, a creature mentioned nine times in the KJV Bible.

This website has been published as an act of protest by the Brotherhood of Fantasy Creatures (MiddleEarth Div.157) in response to the injurious actions of the Creation Museum. The Creation Museum is a new $27 Million facility designed to teach the â..truthâ.. of Creationism and the Christian Bible. We of the BFC feel that this group represents a threat to continued belief in other fantasy creatures/BFC signatory members and have constructed this website as a protest against their monopolistic and anti-competitive practices.

Oh, those Russians...

English Russia - Glazastik. The New Internet Hero

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Russians like to make internet stars from amusing or extraordinary people seen in mass communication media. For example, for some period of time such a star was Chumazik (Dirty-Faced Fellow), a drunken factory worker. The video with this guy was a true hit in 2005 across Russian part of Internet.

That was three years ago. But here is another story, the new one. During the press conference of the Russian President Vladimir Putin, that took place on G8 summit, some young man started to throw out propaganda leaflets. This incident became very popular in the Russian part of the Internet. The reason of such popularity is neither the actions of the young activist, nor the smart reaction of the Mr. President. The reason was the man sitting in the conference hall (you can see him on the picture above). They called him Glazastik (Big-Eyed Guy). Below you can see the short video of this incident - see the guy with strange eyes behind the guy with leaflets, clear at 00.58 of the video. After the video was spread around Russian Internet many photoshopped versions of him appeared, we also include them here.

  X-tian Net Authority

Oh my fucking god. Hey, I think I just got on their list. It's a bunch of X-tian clowns who think they own the Internet. Catch their #5 on the acceptable use policy. This has to be a hoax.

Net Authority

The Net Authority is an organization consisting of individuals and community leaders from all over the civilized world. We are all constantly on the look-out for new offenders to add to our databaseâ..but we can't do it alone! You too can be a part of the Net Authority and help us eliminate offensive material from the Internet. By reading and understanding the Internet Acceptable Use Policy, and our guide on how to spot offending material, you can arm yourself with all you need to do God's work on the Internet. Every offending site that is added to our database by visitors just like yourself takes us one step closer to a cleaner, better Internet for our children.

Internet Acceptable Use Policy

Posting information or content in any form on the Internet constitutes acceptance of and agreement to the Net Authority Internet Acceptable Use Policy.


  1. Thou shalt not post pornographic material.
    There is a common misconception that pornography is limited purely to images or textual descriptions of an explicit sexual nature. This is not the case. Anything that can evoke impure thoughts in the mind of the beholder is pornographic.

  2. Thou shalt not post hateful material.
    Any material that promotes or inspires hatred or violence towards any other person or group of people is strictly forbidden.

  3. Thou shalt not post blasphemous material.
    Any material that would lead one astray from the righteous path of the one true God must not be permitted on the Internet. These days children are gaining access to the Internet at younger and younger agesâ..a time when they are most vulnerable and susceptible to blasphemous viewpoints and suggestions.

  4. Thou shalt not post materials of an offensive political nature.
  5. Thou shalt not post materials concerning bestiality, including interracial relationships. [emphasis added]
    God did not intend for different species or races to intermingle sexually. Any content that contradicts this natural law, directly or indirectly, is strictly forbidden.

  Spock or not?

Yikes, they're pretty nasty....

Ship of Fools: The Laugh Judgment

A man ran through a crowded train looking very agitated, calling out, "Is there a Catholic priest on board?"

When he got no reply, he ran back up the train shouting, "Is there an Anglican priest on board?" Still no reply.

By now becoming more desperate, he ran down the train shouting, "Is there a Rabbi on board?"

Eventually, a gentleman stood up and said, "Can I be of any assistance, my friend? I'm a Methodist minister."

The man looked at him and said, "No, you're no bloody good. I need a corkscrew!"

Heheh.

5> You could tell it was a real UFO because there werenâ..t any wires holding it up and it smelled like outer space.

Top 10 Sentences From Third-Rate SF Stories

The stickers read "Don't Panic! This is NOT A BOMB. Do not be afraid. Do not call the police. Stop letting the terrorists win." I picked them up from Bunnie Huang last month, and was worried they wouldn't be topical by the time I got around to using them. Thankfully, the Boston PD's contained-explosion panic squad helped me out.

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This parking meter is NOT A BOMB on Flickr - Photo Sharing!

This is supposed to be a review of Magnesium Citrate, a potent laxative.

From the site entry:

I like to keep myself pretty healthy, and I'm not afraid of natural body functions, so this seemed like a good topic of review for me.

To start off, I needed to be constipated. To accomplish this, I have been eating lots of dairy and red meat, and almost no vegetables or fiber this week. I didn't completely plug up the pipes, but things did slow way down.

  Get a First Life!

Your First Life dream world awaits. Hang out at the mall! Embarass yourself in gym class! Get acne! Experiment with mind-altering recreational drugs! The First Life world is your oyster.
Got First Life Questions? We've Got Answers:

Are five senses enough?

What's this body thing, and what do I do with the dangly bits?

Why can't I build a dirigible with my mind?

Penguins, spoons and you -- what's life like among the flightless?

Get a First Life: A One Page Satire of Second Life

#6. Dogwelder - Dogwelder was a character from Garth Ennis' "Hitman" series. Dogwelder was part of a superhero team known as Section Eight which was a band of these crazy guys that fought crime in rather inane ways. Dogwelder is my favourite of the bunch. He's this madman in a silver welder's outfit that basically just goes around welding stray dogs to villains' faces. That's it. That's how he fought crime. Welding dogs to people.

The Pop Culture Addict presents... Comic Books

One of the many entries:

#6 Never, ever leave flashlights, shampoo bottles, beer bottles or any long, circular object on the floor because someday you will fall on it and it will somehow, work its way up your rectum.

  Chronicles of George

The Chronicles of George

George is, quite simply, the worst helpdesk technician ever.

His grasp on the written word is shakier than a canoe full of epileptics. His knowledge of computers is thinner than a Vegas dancer's chiffon underpants. He is, by all standards of intelligence, a rock ... George was responsible for turning out some of the most mangled, garbled, and just plain screwed up help desk tickets ever before seen by mortal man.

Though Dr. Jones conducts "field research" far more often than anyone else in the department, he has consistently failed to report the results of his excavations, provide any credible evidence of attending the archaeological conferences he claims to attend, or produce a single published article in any peer-reviewed journal. Someone might tell Dr. Jones that in academia "publish or perish" is the rule. Shockingly, there is little evidence to date that Dr. Jones has successfully excavated even one object since he arrived at Marshall College. Marcus Brody, curator of our natural-history museum, assured me this was not so and graciously pointed out several pieces in the collection that he claimed were procured through Dr. Jones's efforts, but, quite frankly, we have not one shred of documentation that can demonstrate the provenance or legal ownership of these objects.

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Back From Yet Another Globetrotting Adventure, Indiana Jones Checks His Mail and Discovers That His Bid for Tenure Has Been Denied.


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