Recent Entries in Humour

Heh. I think I'm level one on this list:

Unknown Artist: Bottom Level 1

This is also a fun place to be. No, you don't make any money at it, but your friends may enjoy your work and girls will get naked when they're at your pad and see your talent. Sorry ladies, but few guys will jump you based on your art unlike the other way around. It just makes you feel good yourself.

Keep your day job and have a blast!

Seven Levels of Artists - 2004

I'm going to say he has a chemical disorder, probably Bipolar. The elves sing him a very nice song and he's a total jerk about it, leaving the desperately co-dependent Mrs. Clause to patch things up. He has some sort of eating disorder that causes his weight to fluctuate wildly. He tells Dasher he should be ashamed for presenting Rudolph to the community simply because the child has some sort of nose disorder. He only changes his mind about Rudolph once he figures out a way to exploit him. Plus, this guy is absolutely ITCHING to cancel Christmas. Hey Santa. It's not your call. Christmas is the day Jesus was born. God will let you know if Christmas is cancelled. Until then, get in the damn sleigh.


  Dog Halloween Costumes

And they say there are no monsters out there.



Costumes become even less important when you're a teenager, when you're either dressing like it's Halloween every day, or making fun of the kids who do. In fact, it's not until you're an adult that costumes suddenly become significant. No one wants to be the witch at the office party -- too clich´┐Ż, never mind indicative. Adult Halloween parties are about judging your peers, drinking alcohol, and girls feeling empowered to dress like hooker cheerleader nurses. Here are a few ideas to get you going.

The Morning News - The Non-Expert: Last-Minute Halloween Costumes, by Rosecrans Baldwin

... and have a web browser opened to this page ....

A unique website for people desperate to disconnect themselves from unwanted telephone conversations. The site features a selection of audio clips ranging from, ringing cell phones, barking dogs to crying babies to someone crashing into a fence, to be played in the background for people on the other end of the line.

When You Absolutely, Positively Have to Get Off the Phone - Helps End Unending Phone Conversations

  Perry Fellowship Bible

And here I thought this was going to get all religious on me. Nice warped comix.


PBF archive

Who is Ralph Wiggum?

Ralph Wiggum, is the unintentional class clown of Springfield Elementary. He is the son of Chief Wiggum, the equally absent-minded, bumbling police officer, and has a reputation for saying things both irrelevent and unintelligent. He is known to have a crush on Lisa, and has an imaginary leprechaun friend who occasionally tells him to start fires.

The Simpsons Archive: The Ralph Wiggum File

  The Secret Life of Toys..

Tankboy meets his death..

Meanwhile Jimmie has found something fun to eat!

Ah yes, the secret life of toys..

Interesting to see what StarWars Episode 3 looks like when translated into Chinese, and back into English.

smelly_boy.jpg episode iii, the backstroke of the west

i was walking past my friendly dvd salesperson and decided to check out revenge of the sith. i was assured the quality was good and for 7rmb why not give it a shot.

aside from the counters on the top of the screen and a distorted perspective it was ok- not high quality but watchable. the captions were a hilarious surprise- a direct english translation of the chinese interpretation of what the script was saying. it varied from being somewhat close to the script to being 'far far away'....

It was a night of suspense and absolute idiocy as the World Stupidity Awards awarded achievement in ignorance and stupidity in one of the hottest ticket's at Montreal's Just for Laughs Festival Friday night.

While there were surprises, US president George W. Bush and Hotel Heiress Paris Hilton dominated the evening, with Hilton taking the Stupidest Woman of the Year category and Bush winning for Stupidest Statement for his comment: "They never stop thinking of new ways to harm our country or our people, and neither do we. "


  • Stupidest Man of the Year: Columnist Ann Coulter
  • Dumbest Moment of the Year: Ashlee Simpson's lip-synching on SNL
  • Stupidest Statement of the Year: "They never stop thinking of new ways to harm our Country and our people, and neither do we." U.S. President George W. Bush
  • Stupidest Movie of the Year: Alien vs Predator
  • Stupidest Woman of the Year: Paris Hilton
  • Stupidest Trend of the Year: Crystal Meth
  • Stupidest TV Show of the Year: The Simple Life
  • Dumbest Government of the Year: The Government of Canada
  • Stupidity Award for Reckless Endangerment of the Planet: Kim Jong Il, Dictator of North Korea
  • Media Outlet Which Has Best Furthered Ignorance: Fox News

2005 World Stupidity Awards: Winners

  You want a piece of me?

Hey, you! Yeah, you. I see you standing over there with the hungry look in your eye. Something bothering you? Something gnawing at your gut? Huh? You want a piece of me, is that it? You want a piece of me?

Oh, you do, do you? You think you're a big man, huh? You got a big mouth, I'll give you that, but do you have the guts? Well, you're going to have a belly full of me before this is over, that's for sure.

The Onion | You Want A Piece Of Me?

Hee hee.

From the Atheists of Silicon Valley Humor Page.

Over Three Hundred Proofs of God's Existence

Just days after calling psychiatry a fraud, Hollywood superstar and Church of Scientology devotee Tom Cruise is now declaring war on another sacred cow of the medical world. In an exclusive interview on Access Hollywood, the star of the upcoming surefire blockbuster "War of the Worlds" blasted the use of anesthesia, labeling the sedation of patients during painful, life-threatening surgeries as "dangerous pseudo-scientific drug abuse."

"I'm ready to tackle the myths about anesthesia head on," Cruise told Access Hollywood. "People say anesthesia is safe. They're being drugged up and put in a virtual coma, even for hours at a time. That is just irresponsible and crazy."

And the movie hunk also shared some of his own personal experiences with ultra-orthodox physicians bent on sedating patients during excruciatingly painful procedures.

The Spoof - Tom Cruise Slams Anesthesia as Pseudo-Science

The following is the first communique from a group calling itself Unitarian Jihad. It was sent to me at The Chronicle via an anonymous spam remailer. I have no idea whether other news organizations have received this communique, and, if so, why they have not chosen to print it. Perhaps they fear starting a panic. I feel strongly that the truth, no matter how alarming, trivial or disgusting, must always be told. I am pleased to report that the words below are at least not disgusting:

Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States. We are Unitarian Jihad. There is only God, unless there is more than one God. The vote of our God subcommittee is 10-8 in favor of one God, with two abstentions. Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation noted the possibility of there being no God at all, and his objection was noted with love by the secretary.


  Cartoons on Hating Cats

BTW, I love cats. And dogs. And all other furry animals. Except wombats. I hate those marsupial fuckers.

Small World, Cat Hate Cartoons

  Follow that Prius!

Quick, we haven't a moment to spare! He's already an entire public green space ahead of us. Right, sorry -- he or she. There... that's him or her right there. That seafoam green car carefully signaling for a turn onto Maple Terrace Drive from Oak Lawn Boulevard. Yes, the one behind the new Beetle. Follow that Prius!

The Onion | Follow That Prius!


Check out the picture!

Who said animal cruelty wasn't funny?

Blennus - your driveling idiot

  Bush's Debate Notes

All throughout the debate, Bush was seen taking notes on a piece of paper at his podium. At great risk to life and limb, we were able to smuggle out the notes and present them so that they are available for everyone to see. Many Bothans died to bring you this information ...

Bush's Debate Notes

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who is married to a Kennedy, joked at a public-policy conference that his sex life suffered after he endorsed President Bush at the Republican National Convention.

ABC News: Schwarzenegger: Bush Has Hurt My Sex Life

A cartoonish painting of President Bush (news - web sites) in the nude has been taken down from the wall at the City Museum of Washington. The picture, called "Man of Leisure, King George," adopts the pose of a famous Impressionist painting, Edouard Manet's "Olympia," that scandalized Paris in 1863, and now hangs in the Gare d'Orsay Museum in Paris.

The painting by local artist Kayti Didriksen, shows a caricature of Bush, reclining in the nude on a chaise lounge, his head propped up by pillows.

Instead of the female servant who stands behind Olympia's couch, a man in suit and tie resembling Vice President Dick Cheney (news - web sites) stands nearby, holding a cushion with a crown and a miniature oil rig on top of it.

Yahoo! News - Painting of Nude Bush Removed From Museum

Spider-man wears a Leader crown is this gripping tale.

  Comics for the Insane

Yes, comics for the insane. Sure but are they funny you ask...well if I tell you whether or not I laughed you will know if I am insane or not, so check it yourself and see if you laugh.

  Dog Toy or Marital Aid

Yet another in the line of quick, useless internet quizzes. But it kind of makes you think about what your dog's got in his mouth.


I'm a Democrat, apparently. A New Democrat, to be more precise....


Threat rating: High. The Bush administration is concerned that it may not get a second term. Therefore, we are going to change the rules so that each Democrat vote only counts as 0.2 votes because Democrat is a shorter word than Republican.

I am Larry Koffi. I am director in charge auditing and collecting Union Togolaise De Banque Lome, Togo West Africa. I came across $44.5 million of a dead person in my bank. I will give you 25% to be his NEXT OF KIN. I like red jelly beans.

I am Larry Koffi.  I am director in charge auditing and collecting Union Togolaise De Banque Lome, Togo West Africa.  I came across $44.5 million of a dead person in my bank. I will give you 25% to be his NEXT OF KIN.  I like red jelly beans.
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D H McKee's bookshelf: to-read

Sunset and Sawdust
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The Thicket
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